The aftereffect

Bila musibah melanda, tidak banyak yang mampu dilakukan.
"Banyakkan bersabar"
Senang. 
Memang senang.
Pada mulut mereka yang lain.
Namun berat di hati.
Pada hati mereka yang terlibat.

Dari sedih, boleh jadi bengang.
Dari bengang, boleh jadi marah.
Dari marah, boleh jadi rasa putus asa.
...

Bengang.
Bengang sebab orang dok sibuk suruh kita sabar.
Bengang sebab orang dok sibuk suruh kita bertahan.
Padahal kita sebenarnya tahu dan sedar,
kita MEMANG perlu sabar dan bertahan.
Tapi kita tetap bengang..
Bengang sebab that word 'sabar' is actually underrated.
Dah tak boleh pakai dah at this particular moment.
"Kalau tak sabar, lama dah mati...". 

Marah.
Marah sebab kita mula mencari sebab dan musabab.
Penyebab dan pertanggungjawaban.
What went wrong?
Siapa yang salah?
What else yang sepatutnya boleh dilakukan?
"Kalaulah depa buat itu dan ini.. Kalaulah aku buat itu dan ini..kalaulah itu,kalaulah ini"

And then,
Bilamana kita tak dapat jawapan yang kita mahu..
Kita mula putus asa.
Mula hilang harapan.
Mula rasa 'meh'.
Mula rasa 'lantak kau lah'.
Mula rasa 'things had happened'.
Mula rasa 'nothing more could ever been done'.

Redha.
Bila kita mula sedar.
Kita bukanlah siapa-siapa.
Kita tidak miliki apa-apa.
Ini semua nikmat pinjaman.
Yang Allah bagi kejap kita rasa.
"Inna lillahi wa inna ilaihirojiun".


Raw graduation family photo.

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