Nearing 30's

Nearing 30's.

I concluded that I have no luck when it comes to a love life.

I'm not being choosy.. yet not 'too easy' in finding a man. It is the eyes that observe and the heart that decides how attractive a man could be.

"Cinta...tak dapat diduga, cinta... hanya dapat dirasa, senada dalam cinta"

I might find a man is attractive by the way he carries himself, his smile or the scent.

Still, i could not find the one that resonate with my heart that vibrates.

He's either extinct or may be, our path is not yet crossing.

It is quite frustrating, to open your heart and bare your feeling to someone new and strange in your life just to find out that he is not ready to dance along.

How venurable we could be, by exposing our sacred feeling to the one that feels he had abundance choices lay upon his eyes and feels no guilt to play with our emotion.

I've open my heart once.. as wide as it could be, just to find out that he already got his woman and ready to commit with her.

I've widen up my opportunity and possibility to find a guy, in an online dating apps, just to find out that most of them are playful, lustful and dare to text inappropriately with no guilt at all.

I've once again try to open my heart and see what would happen if I try a little harder than before.
Hmmm, I could feel the spark but it just could not be burnt fiery.
It takes two to tango, man. I did find you attractive when you were talking enthusiastically about your work. Then, when you singing and humming while scrolling down your phone, and when you shared your choices of song on your playlist.I bet you're not bad at all afterall. I did not judge how boroi you're as I myself had no flat abs.haha. I did find you as a handsome and a neat guy even when you talked while your mouth is full.hihi.
I just wish you try a little harder when interacting to someone else later on. That's the major turning down. Or else, i just had to conclude that your heart does not resonate with mine. Or, it is me that falls too easily.Hahahaha.

Now, my heart is not ready. And I did not know when it will be ready.

Enough for the year of 2017.

Try my luck next year. Okbai!