Friday, August 18, 2017

Jangan mengata

Kata dan tindakan
Hasil rasa hati dan fikiran

Dangkal rasa
Pendek akal
Terbit bentuk laku yang pincang.

Benar orang-orang kata
Jangan bicara bila amarah
Jangan mengata bila hanya mendengar

Mata, akal, rasa
Perlu dibiar buka
Perlu dibiar menilai
Panjang pendeknya àkal sang bicara.

Tak kira siapa kita
Yang mendengar
Mahupun bicara
Ingat, buka mata.. buka rasa
Jangan sampai binasa.



Tuesday, August 15, 2017

Love Yourself😘

Orang kata...ni orang la kata...
"You have to love yourself first, before starts loving others"

Why?
It is simply because you worth it! *loreal*

You worth a lot more than you ever think.
Never underestimate your appearance, capability and values.

You are unique on your own.
You live in your own pace, with your own flow and your own you.

Here are 5 incredible thing about me that you never expected me to say out loud by myself..hehe. ni bukan narsisis tapi cuma optimis. Kihkih.

#1: I'm good in making chicken soup. Pehhh, feveret.
#2: I could figure out how to be handy in some house chores, something like fitting the water hose for washing machines, assembled furnitures by DIY stores, replace water filter (yang cikai bkn coway), change light bulb, replace empty gas, gitu... boleh la nak hidup sendiri.
#3: I love air freshener. I love nature and loving to be in it. Could spend hours by seashore, on the hills and up in the jungle if given the chance. Love running and laughing. It makes me light-hearted.
#4: I'm pretty neat. Could not bear to see the kitchen messy and oily. Will clean up everything once done cooking. Will make sure the floor get cleaned and mopped right away.
#5: i can cook a hearty meal under an hour. Plus cleaning in 30minutes.

Sunday, July 23, 2017

Nearing 30's

Nearing 30's.
I concluded that I have no luck when it comes to a love life.

I'm not being choosy.. yet not too lenient in finding a man. It is the eyes that observe and the heart that decides how attractive a man could be.
"Cinta...tak dapat diduga, cinta... hanya dapat dirasa, senada dalam cinta"

I may find a man attractive by the way he carries himself, the smile or the scent.

Each person gives different impact on the soul. Yet, i could not find the one that resonate with the heart that vibrates.

He might not be exist or may be he does not resonate at the same magnitude as my heart beats. Or may be, our path is not yet crossing.

It is quite frustrating, to open your heart and bare your feeling to someone new and strange in your life just to find out that he is not ready to dance. How venurable we could be, by exposing our sacred feeling to the one that feels he had abundance choices lay upon his eyes and feels no guilt to play with your emotion.

I've open my heart once.. as wide as it could be, just to find out that he got his girl already.
I've open my opportunity and possibility to find a guy in an online dating apps, just to find out that most of them are playful, lustful and had not guilty to text inappropriately.
I've once again try to open my heart and see what would happen if I try a little harder? Hmmm, I feel the spark but it could not be burnt fiery. It takes two to tango, man. I did find you attractive when you were talking enthusiastically about your work. Then, when you singing and humming while scrolling down your phone, and when you share your choices of song. I bet you're not bad at all. I did not judge how boroi you're as I myself had no flat abs.haha. I did find you as a handsome and a neat guy even when you did talk while your mouth is full.hihi.
I just wish you try a little harder when interacting to someone else later on. That's the major turning down. Or else, i just had to conclude that your heart does not resonate with mine. Or, it is me that falls too easily.How rugi...

Now, my heart is not ready. And I did not know when it will be ready.
Enough for the year of 2017.
Try my luck next year. Okbai!




Saturday, July 1, 2017

Memori

Contrails, wany hasrita and purplish sky.

We filled our life with memories.
Each seconds, memories were created.
It becomes memories when we decided to make it one.

Memories depends on color, smells, sound and the feeling felt at the moment.
We had to be present at the moment for it to be crafted as memories.

Macam deodorant rexona colour hijau, reminds me of my matriculation years.

Contrails, wany hasrita and purplish sky reminds me of someone..😊

So long.. you will always be remembered. 
I have to keep on moving, i wish not to wait and see. 

You had to let me go..come on😤😤



Tuesday, June 13, 2017

Gain and loss

Life is short. 
10 years is only a 'sejengkal' away.
At a blink of eyes, you may reach half your destination.

Life is short.
In 10 years time, many things had happen.
The lost and the gain.

For the past 10 years (2007-2017)
1. Miraculously I got into IIUM, studied Engineering (never dream of, i dream of culinary..kehkeh).
2. Got PTPTN, attempted for JPA sponsorship (lost it).. haha
3. Got help from my sister for supporting my studies fees etc for the 1st year.
4. Loss hope. Try Petronas scholarship.
5. Go to the interview with no hopes but tawakal to Allah... no savings, PTPTN pun xdapat banyak.
6. ALHAMDULILLAH.. eventho i got stomachache and 'berak dulu' before answering the test.. Allah gave me the opportunity to get the scholarship.
7. 2011, graduate with quite ok result. ALHAMDULILLAH... wlaupun bkn pangkat 1 bintang.
8. On 1 April 2012,  I (we) loss my sister.
9. I (we) got faiz instead.
10. May 2017, I got called for interview at KLCC.
11. Accompanied by my dad, go to KLCC with no preparation what so ever. Still shock with the changes happened in our life.
12. Sept 2012, I got offer to work at Terengganu. ALHAMDULILLAH.
13. Still blur, go to terengganu sehelai sepinggan with no intention at all to start working.
14. Got no home, no kereta to move around.
15. Got good friend, got Kelisa Abah bg pinjam... all is well. Got settled down pretty quick.
16. 2013.All smooth, all good.
17. 21 April 2014. I (we) loss Abah.
18. MAK and faiz moved to terengganu.
19. All saving gone. No motivation to live. Zombie all the way. Work, sleep and eat.
20. 2015. All year gone. Adapting to new environment.
21. MAY 2016, try find new meaning to live. Try looking for love. Failed miserably. Hahahah. Go buy kereta instead. ALHAMDULILLAH...Allah bg mudah.
22. 2016, but new property. trying to adapt to new commitment.
23. 2017. Trying looking for new love, again. No luck. Hahahahah. And the year still berbaki.

Basically I gain even more, eventho I feel like i loss alot.
1. Allah bagi kawan2 yang tak ramai tapi ok.
2. Masih ada gaji
3. Ada anak yatim yang bole aku kutip pahala yang aku tak nampak and perasan.
4. Ada emak tempat aku nak jaga. Padahal die jaga aku lebih..hahahah.
5. Ada property walaupun hutang. Hahahaha
6. Personal loveline? Not yet lucky... but no problem. Life is short. Kalau xsempat dapat kat dunia... let it be. Janji aku da usaha. Hahahha
7. Next year 30yo da. Kena set goal baru.
8. Terima kasih Allah. ALHAMDULILLAH.


Saturday, May 13, 2017

Bila hati bukan milik jasad

Hati dan jasad.

Hati rasa jasad merasa.
Hati terusik, jasad terkuit.
Hati merindu, jasad menyayang.

Walau hati bersatu pada jasad
Tapi hati bukan miliknya
Hati hakikatnya ada
Namun, nalurinya terletak pada yang Esa

Pemilik hati itu bukan jasad
Walau rasa seperti boleh dibeli
Diuji
Dibelai
Dan diuliti

Tiada apa yang mampu memaksa
Memujuk 
Merayu
Dan merintih
Hati itu untuk terbuka
Demi hati ini yang mulai menyuka
...Kecuali Allah jualah yang punya acara.

Andai hati mulai menyuka
Jangan biar terusan terbuka pada yang disuka
Tapi
Terusan buka pada pemilik-Nya

Moga Allah yang Maha mendengar, menyusun jejak hati yang mulai lari.
Terus masuk kepada yang hak berdiri.

NFM.
13may2017
1055pm.







Wednesday, April 5, 2017

Rasa hati


Ada rasa perlu dinikmati
Ada rasa perlu diagungi
Ada rasa perlu disembunyi

Kata rasa mana yang perlu diutama
Yang perlu dikata
Dan perlu dihalusi

Ilmu 
Alami
Halusi

Susah.
Memang payah.
Memang sulit.

Sulit untuk merasa lebih dalam
Memahami lebih jauh
Merasai lebih halus.

Mungkin rasa itu rasa tipu
Yang perlu engkau tangkis
Tapis dan kikis.

Mungkin rasa itu hadir
Buat kau terbuai
Merasa lebih indah
Merasa untuk lebih menghalusi.
Bukan untuk kini, mungkin untuk nanti...





Monday, March 27, 2017

Soal hati

Soal pada hati
Apa rasa diri
Soal pada hati lagi
Apa rasa kini

Hati senyap
Hati memati dan lenyap
Hati senyap
Hati tidak lagi bersayap
Untuk terbang dan merayap

Soal pada hati lagi
Apa rasa kini
Hati tetap senyap dan memati
Hati mati untuk menikmati
Bukan kerana diri
Tapi kerana pernah disakiti

Soal lagi pada hati
Hati berkata lagi
Mungkin nanti, bukan kini.

Hati itu Allah yang pegang
Semoga hati kita tidak mati
Semoga hati kita diberi peluang untuk menikmati
Sebelum kita benar-benar mati.

NFM, march 2017.


Wednesday, March 15, 2017

Abah


Air mata itu kini tidak lagi boleh mengalir.
Air mata itu aku sendiri saksinya.
Air mata itu bukti kasih abah.

Abah walau telah pergi
Nilai dirinya semoga kekal subur
Dalam diri aku yang degil
Dalam diri aku yang kasar
Dalam diri aku yang tampil kuat.

Degil dan kasar aku muncul
Sekadar penutup hati yang keciwa
Sedih
Putus asa
Dan sakit hati.

Dulu adanya abah
Mampu menyejuk hati yang marah
Mampu menunduk hati yang angkuh
Mampu memandu hati yang sesat

Bait katanya ringkas
Bait nasihatnya tepat
Bait tegurannya padu
Bait tawanya menenangkan

Mana mungkin aku jumpa abah di hayat ini
Mana mungkin ada abah aku sapa lagi
Mana mungkin ada abah untuk nasihati 
Mana mungkin ada orang faham abah aku lagi

Abah telah pergi
Yang tinggal 
Jangan pernah lupa pada abah
Jangan pernah lupa nasihat abah
Jangan pernah lupa apa kau dah buat pada abah

Yang dulu kalau sesali mungkin abah pun sudah lupai
Andai kini kau buat lagi
Tiada lagi abah untuk memaafi

Mati hati.
Matilah diri.

Al-fatihah.
Matori markom. 21 April 2014.


Sebelum mati.

Ada satu detik dalam hidup kau..
Kau rasa malas untuk merasa.
Kau rasa rimas untuk peduli.
Kau rasa lemas untuk menangis.

Sudahnya,
Kau berdiri dan termenung.
Fikir dan fikir lagi.
Apa lagi kau boleh buat.
Apa lagi kau boleh ubah.
Apa lagi kau boleh katakan.

Sudahnya,
Kau berdiri lalu mati.
Mati akal.
Mati cara.
Mati hati.

Lalu
Kau sedar
Hati itu milik Allah.
Allah jualah yang bisa membolak balikkan hati kita.
Semoga kita sempat sebelum terlalu lewat.

Semoga kita sampai.

Sampai sebelum kita 'mati' lalu salah satu dari kita mati.


Monday, March 6, 2017

Seusia ini

Seusia ini.

I might be single, let alone problemless, emotionless, yet the most richest among you all. *clap*clap*

That is your way to justify all things you've not done for me. Tahniah. Allah tu Maha Adil.

Seusia ini,
Aku bukan lagi budak belasan tahun.
Aku punya hak untuk berasa marah.
Aku punya hak untuk berkecil hati.
Aku punya hak untuk tidak lagi berlembut hati.

Bila hati sudah mati, matilah jiwa.
Tolong, jangan sampai hati aku ke situ Tuhan.



Sunday, March 5, 2017

Perihal manusia

Manusia ini satu antara dua
Yang punya otak atau yang punya rasa.

Seringkali,
Yang punya rasa itu terlihat lebih bijak dari yang punya otak.
Lebih bijak untuk menghargai
Lebih bijak untuk menyantuni
Lebih bijak untuk memahami.

Makanya,
Biar kurang otak, tapi biar tuntas untuk merasa.
Kerana hati itu tempat rasa.
Kerana hati itu mata arah diri.
Kerana hati itu kunci untuk memandiri.

Kalau hati sudah mati,
Otak itu boleh buang ke tepi.

Boleh pergi mati. Sekian.

Nfm, 5thmarch17.

Antara cinta dan jodoh

Antara cinta dan jodoh
Ada satu batas
Namanya pilihan.

Antara cinta dan jodoh
Ada satu ruang
Namanya perancangan

Antara batas dan ruang ini
Ada satu ketentuan
Namanya takdir

Dalam pilihan, ada rasa dan suka
Dalam perancangan, ada masa dan acara
Dalam takdir itu pula, tiada kuasa dan daya pada kita

Andai takdir tidak dipayungi dengan batas dan ruang, mana mungkin ada jodoh antara kita..

Nfm, march 2017.